My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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