ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
did i just pee glitter
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize