Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
