I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
