Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
