you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
