There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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