I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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