i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize