she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Randomize
