Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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