His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
