Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
