I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
