hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
