I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
