the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
