I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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