i just sent this text using only my big toe
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
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