people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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