I showed him my bush... on skype.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
