I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
