I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
