Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
