She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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