I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize