After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
