i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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