currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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