I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
