I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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