1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
