I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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