Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize