I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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