Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize