He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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