Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
