my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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