you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
