what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
