Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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