quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
