That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
