After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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