she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
