i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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