sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
