you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
