I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
