yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i out mim tonsoeep
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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