I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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