i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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