How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
