I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
