i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
