pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize