I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
