Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
