Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
