What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
