I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they need to just BURY HIM!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
