the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like eating out sand paper
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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