I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
