just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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