found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
