Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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