I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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