small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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